Rock Albania

Subject: Re: Your style Mon May 12, 2008 12:44 am

Emily, i like black too. i'm not an anti-black person.
we'll see it this way..
let me assume that you wear black because you like rock music, and you think that that's the way a rock fan should wear. if you don't wear black you may think that the rockers community will not accept you as one of them. and, in order to be a part of that community, you wear black! Don't forget: I'm just assuming!

by always wearing black and choosing the same clothing and accessory style as most other rock fans in Albania(a pair of jeans, a black stamped or not t-shirt, converse shoes, black laces on the neck and hands,etc) you become one of the group. but, you as individual still remain unnoticed. you're not outstanding and sepcial with YOUR own style. you're otstanding and special with THEIR own style(the rocker's community).

feeling the need to be a part of a group - in my opinion - expresses low level or none of self-confidence, because you can't or don't believe to be able to afford alone whatever is a burdain to you. That's normal! All of us need to be part of a group one time or another.

Now, ask these questions to yourself:
-Would you be able to wear in a red or a flowered or a white dress tomorrow and go to "Alkimi," for example? (I've never been there cause I haven't had the chance and time yet, but I've seen you mention it a lot in the forum)
-Would you be able to show all your feminine side(of course to the border of comfort) in your accessories and shoes and make-up and the way of walking?
-Would you be able not to include ANY single black thing(excluding the eye pencil or eyeliner or mascara) in your appearance tomorrow and go to meet your rocker(hate to use that term)friends?
-Would you be able to keep doing that for the next couple of weeks?

If all answers are YES, then keep wearing black darling. There won't be any problem for you.
If any or all answers are NO, than I think you should start changing.. starting from the inside(soul and mind). starting the change now would make it much more easier for you to fit in and be accepted by any environment in the future.

That's my advise for you. Seek for the colors of life. You don't have much of a choice of shades from the combination of black, dark green, dark brown and so on.

Oh, and the fact that you guys are taking everything so personal is another sign of low self confidence.

My intention is not to attack you as persons, but to prevent the "once you go black, you never go back" phenomenon from happening to you...

I'm open to discussion, if there is anything you might want to discuss. If there isn't, we can close the debate.

Subject: Re: Your style Mon May 12, 2008 1:12 pm

I read your last posts and to some extent Adela, i definitely do agree with you and to the questions exposed above. Are you to the opinion that people should adapt their wearing according to the group they belong to? Or they just have to be themselves? Let's keep in mind that many groups may put some pressure on you for your way of wearing. ( not neccessarily all of them) So, which is the best choice? I think this matter is completely subjective and we can not judge. Can we? If this X person defines his/her wearing based on somebody's else opinion, this is another issue.
Personally speaking, I do love rock music. To my opinion this does not mean that I have to wear in black because others do and I have NEVER worn in all my life Converse shoes. Does this make me a non rock fan? No, not at all...

Please people calm down! No one is addressing personally to anyone here. We are just debating and not quarreling! Do make the distinction!
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